While I miss the days of being with my second ex-fiancee, moving on has been strange. It's been a good five years at this point that I've been trying to start dates and relationships. Back in March, I went out with a girl who was obviously not into me. No biggie. Well, went out again...hilarity ensues. While I will not go into specifics about this date, it did give me some ideas for material.
I am going to Columbus next weekend and I'm waiting to tell my co-producer this whole situation and see her reaction. Can't wait to see Chris Mihm's The Giant Spider. I got three days off before I leave for Columbus, hopefully I can get one of the scripts completed to show off to my co-producer so we can get one of the Traumatic Possession sequels shot.
And with all this dating shit, if my ex-fiancee didn't leave me, none of this would be happening. To make a commitment and then to walk away from it all after I have numerous letters and video messages that were left behind is numbing. When I opened the binder to store the hand-written pages of the Traumatic Possession sequels; out flew a piece of paper from a drawing/art pad that had big letters written on the page; "I LOVE YOU". And in each of the letters had full descriptions of why I was loved.
I didn't realize it was in that binder. I must have placed it in there while I moved from the house I was renting from my folks while they were in Maryland. To have that piece of paper fall out of the binder and into my lap was a shocker to me. And I am still finding stuff hidden around in my laptop. A Microsoft Word document from the day she left last August.
I almost wanted to start smoking again. The depression started hitting me, because after she left, I started to smoke. And for a while there, I stopped because I was filming and editing Traumatic Possession 3D: The Tape and I needed to stay focused. Alcohol has been slowly coming back into my life. Right now, I keep one bottle of beer in my fridge and I'll tell myself; "Tomorrow...."
But...
TOMORROW...
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